haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
