Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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