I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
