I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
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