new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
