he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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