We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
What drink are we having for lunch?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
