She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
