Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
