My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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