i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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