fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
