508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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