I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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