well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
