I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
