Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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