Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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