FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
