is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
