Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
