Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
