6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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