I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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