The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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