Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
