Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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