Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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