Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
