what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
