Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
