Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
