found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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