Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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