Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
