'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Randomize
