Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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