remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
