All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
NoShamevember. You game?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
