my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize