I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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