Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
