is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
