i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
