I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Plan B is the new Plan A
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
