He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
