you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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