My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
