I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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