My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
