They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
