You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
