She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
