can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
