"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
