I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i think my cat just said my name.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
