i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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