tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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