Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize