i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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