He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
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Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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