My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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