He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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