i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We just shotgunned beers for America
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
