someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
