New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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