I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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