he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
