So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
