was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize