Will you blow on my dice?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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