We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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